i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
