Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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