If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
