this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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