Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
