It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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