I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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