Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize