I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize