Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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