Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Randomize