i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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