Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
