she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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