I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
