This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
And then he peed in my hair
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