Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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