I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
