i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
