i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
