; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
