Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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