To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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