miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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