did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
