Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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