is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
