Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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