So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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