i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
