Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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