I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize
