Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
