I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
