I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
