Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
