Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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