Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
