I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize