im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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