I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
