your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dicks are not precious.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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