There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
