So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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