the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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