How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
