She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
