i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i love accidental penises.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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