i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
