Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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