OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
