i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
and you fell through a lawn chair
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
