Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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