sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
