are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
