I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
