You're so nebulous sometimes
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
