I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
