capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
