i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
